# 3 Fail: Proportion

Moist and nicely spiced carrot cake. Only, there is too much carrot! This is a new genre of fail recipes, the first two fails were planned with confidence. This cake however was surely a fail before I began to make it! The recipe calls for 6 cups of grated carrot, 4 eggs, 3 cups of flour, 1 can of crushed pineapple.. etc. I don't have all of that.

i found 5 skinny carrots

shredded them in my food processor

5 skinny carrots made 2 cups of shredded carrot, 1/4 cup brown sugar to that

the recipe called for 4 eggs, I only have 1, add 1/2 cup white sugar

it also called for vanilla extract.. i used this stuff

barely 2 cups of flour, mix in 1 1/2 tsp baking soda and 1 tsp salt

at least i have cinnamon

this was sad, incorporate the flour to eggs

then mix in carrot, and this was when i realized there was more carrot than batter. FAIL

lightly greased and lined the pan

light spreadable cream cheese for frosting

looks like an omelet

take 2 dollops of cream cheese, with a good spoonful of shredded coconut and mix!

voila! it didn't taste bad..there were just too many carrots. Very moist

Go Green!

Banh lot (also known as cendol) is a sweet udon dessert made out of rice flour. It is not the easiest thing to make, I've made it with my mother a few times in the past. My refrigerator always has a container of these worm-like jellies in water. My moms friend makes it every single week and distributes containers to her friends.

Very odd looking. Green is from coloring the mixture with pandan extract, which also gives it a very distinctive fragrance.

This is simple syrup made with rock or cane sugar. It sweetens the flavorless jellies. Often I mistaken it for fish sauce when it's sitting in a container.

This right here is debatable, what to eat the cendol with? When you buy banh lot in stores, they give you a bag of syrup and a bag of coconut milk. Coconut milk is very rich, and milk tends to be a little thin. At my house we like coconut milk and milk, but lately the new trend here is half and half.

spoon 3/4 cup of the banh lot into a glass leaving out as much water as you can (the water keeps the noodles from sticking)

Sweeten it with your desired amount, I like 3 tbsp.

Add in some half and half, enjoy!

# 2 Fail: Species Identification

I went to the local farmers produce market.. I wanted to buy a butternut squash to stuff ravioli with. There was a big box of assorted squash, each only $1.75! I recognized acorn, spaghetti and butternut. The butternut were all significantly smaller yet they cost the same, so I found this random one that I thought was butternut. The color was similar.

So I take my squash home and do some googling, what in the heck did I buy?!

Cut the ends off.

This end had a weird fat stem that looked like turban squash on top.

how cute a pumpkin!

a flat end ables the gourd like squash to stand upright.

much easier to peel as well

pretty

flip and continue to peel

this moment changed everything. cut in half lengthwise

why are there seeds throughout the entire squash?

butternut squash only accumulates seeds in the bottom of it's oblong body!

I notice the flesh is not very starchy but I cut, cube, and cook it anyways.

In a pan I added 1/4 cup water to the unidentified squash steam and prevent sticking, and cover it with aluminum foil, sealing the edges.

Cook for 30 minutes in 350 degree oven.

wonton wrappers are fast and easy alternative to making pasta

mashes easily

but it isn't starchy like acorn and butternut. it didn't even have a distinctive taste or flavor, just plain mush

i even put it back into the oven uncovered to see if that would draw out some moisture. nope

a bit of nutmeg and cinnamon, where did i come up with that?

i ruined it completed with the spices. smelt amazing but it was bittertasting.

i spoon this brown concoction onto a wrapper.

this is one style of pasta, brush egg white around the edges and seal with another wonton wrapper.

this one is simplier, one sheet folded in half, still brushing egg white

pretty?

boiled it, tasted terrible. Epic Fail.

Faster Than My Prelude.. Joking!

Last Saturday I had a few errands to run and no time to cook, I certainly was adamant about avoiding instant noodles. Again, like many of my recipes, I just used whatever I had. I call it Seasoned Chicken Breast with Mushroom Brown Rice.

 This is a box of whole grain brown rice that I got in the mail. Yes, that's right, Surrey receives a lot of really cool samples. Including 4 whole servings of rice per household. Delicious and nutritious. Follow the instructions. I dumped the entire package into 4 cups of boiling water. Cook it for about 10 minutes. At the end I threw in 1/4 cup of dried shitake mushroom which not only adds to the texture but also flavors the rice. Drain the pot with a sieve and let the rice sit.

 I defrosted some chicken in cold water earlier in the day and seasoned it with this package of Americraft lemon herb rub for chicken. I got the seasoning package from sitting at a free cooking show at the PNE. Again with the free food.

The package says: Spices, paprika, red & green bell pepper granules, lemon juice powder (corn syrup solids, natural flavors)

Not so tempting anymore?

I then grilled my chicken with my electric grill. Took about 3 minutes per side of the flattened partial breast. Plate with rice and enjoy when you're in a hurry!

# 1 Fail : Incubation

The ability to execute something new and unplanned to boost your over confidence is not worth the humility of your hastiness. This picture of a cup containing unidentifiable substances my readers, is my attempt at making home made yogurt. The really sad part about my yogurt making is not the wasted half gallon of milk or 70 cent cup of plain yogurt I used as starter or my parent's entire can of sweetened condensed milk, not even the hours I spent checking, but in the saddest fact about this project was that my mother has been making yogurt for me since I was a wee tot and I didn't listen to her.

Most home made yogurt recipes tell you to heat up the actual mixture and let it sit in a warm place for a couple hours. I did the opposite. I poured my cold mixture of milk into cups and placed them in a hot water bath. A path that I wish I never went down. Seen here in the picture, my cup of starter and can of sweetened condensed milk.. both of which could have been used for so many fail-proof recipes.

Ingredients:
I used 2 litres of 2% milk, rich and creamy, homogenized would make delicious yogurt, I wouldn't know.
1 can of sweetened condensed milk for sweetness!
1 cup of plain yogurt because you need the live active bacteria to grow in your own yogurt.
Easy peasy right? Or so I thought.

I mixed all of those ingredients together in hopes of a tangy Vietnamese style treat.

I filled 11 coffee cups with this delicious cold mixture. The cups placed into my roasting pot. Here comes the biggest mistake...
I poured boiling hot water into the pot so that it filled nearly up to the rims of the cups. The yogurt itself should remain body temperature which means the environment it bathes cannot scorch it!

I even incubated them in a warm oven. The hot water stayed hot for an hour or so, it slowly dropped to warm.. and I noticed 2 hours went by and only the tops of the cups have thickened. It's recommended you let it sit in a warm place for 6-8 hours depending on desired tang and thickness, I wanted tangy thick yogurt. 12 hours went by and I all had was clear yellow liquid with floating white specks. Failed.